Learn to be Lonely

It's just like any other day,
no one gets me or tries to understand me
so I sit alone like so many times before,
thats how I learned to be lonely!

So you don't like my attitude, you don't like me,
maybe your mad cause my personality is unqiue.
I'm a litle selfish and can be head strong. Independent and dance to my own beat.
So people don't come around but,
thats how I learned to be lonely.

Ring Ring Ring:
hey wht u doin? Whats that...
Your tired, busy, with your friends, no time for me,
oh what you said maybe a second,
in my head i'm thinking yes! But my heart doesn't let me linger long
cause just that fast your gone.
But thats how i learned to be lonely

But the me time I spent alone has made me realize and appreciate so many things.
Most importantly I'm not lonely,
cause when I sit still I feel a sense of peace, his presence is near.
He sits with me, lays with me, rides wit me, my true friend all day long.
When Im not doing right he still loves me and never leaves my side.

So I never did learn to be lonely,
cause God was there all along,
I just had to be still to remember his presence is always near!

Love and I

Love used to be a friend of mine
Until he turned his back and left me one too many times
He came with family, friends, and guys
And as quickly as he came sometimes he left without proper good - bye’s

Love took some friends away
Hurt my heart and left me astray
Love fled me taking my friends in death
Why oh why love why
Why put me through this pain and strife

Love stole my family no questions asked
Both those near and dear all that’s left is memories in the past
Shattered my heart, sent my mind in turmoil
I was so mad at love, he made my blood boil.

Love distanced my family
Caused a lot of drama and stupidity
Love broke my trust I no longer believed
Huh….What who is Love.

Love… I thought it was love
But he didn’t love me back
I allowed him to use me and than move on
How could you do me like this forget love

Love, Nah this can’t be
Flee, Flee get away from me
I’ll keep running you won’ catch me
You keep playing with my heart you won’t win not anymore
I’ll keep running until no end
Stay away go away never return again

As I stand staring out at the cold dark gloomy sky
So black it’s blue, clouds rolling and swirling such an angry sky
The rain pours, like its singing my pain
The thunder is roaring like its screaming for me
The lighting piercing my heart, mind, body, and soul

A glimmer steady stream of light rose my head
I was stunned didn’t know what could shine through such a dark sky
An image with an golden aura stood in front of me
He said my child, my princess, my daughter I know why you cry
I feel the pain you dare try but fail to hide
Have you no more faith, have you left it dormant inside

I respond Father I have faith I know your there
I know that your on time, I’m trying to be patient
But I’m tired so tired so tired
I don’t want to cry, nor hurt, feel this pain inside

He says my child you can’t believe you can’t have faith
You keep running from me day after day
You have shun me from your heart
You gave up on me and forgot who I am
No I didn’t I pray to you each day
Stand up and praise your holy awesome name
It’s love I don’t trust and from love which I ran
I could never deny you for your our Lord my God
The creator of me and the only way I can get through all things

My beautiful child I God the Father am Love
If you run from love than you run from me
If you deny love than you deny me
Lose your faith in love than you can not have faith in me
You closed your heart you stop believing

I took away some friends before they could truly break your heart
For they were only meant for a season to teach you to show you how to truly know a friend
I distance your family to end drama and bring a sense of peace
I took some you loved to death to end pain and suffering
To be with me and walk streets of gold, but to watch and smile down on you

I bring you love but you keep pushing me aside.
From the honesty of your heart your prayers and the tears you cry I know you want me
I know that you need me in your life, put your faith to work even more when you get tired
I know you want love
Find your faith and believe, that is when you will find me
God that is love
Love me first with your whole heart
Love yourself completely
Than I can show you another love that is to be

So take this love I give you not for a day a month or a season
But take this love and give love back
Love me, love yourself, and love the one’s in your life for all the right reasons

A Stained Glass Window, Awaiting Its Sunshine!

This is very old but something I love.


A Stained Glass Window has many colors that come together to form a beautiful picture but the true beauty of the picture is only revealed when the sun shines through it allowing you to see the many different pieces that were put together to form one big beautiful piece of art work.

I am a piece of art work put together by God, My Family, Friends, and obstacles. Through situations in my life whether they were good or bad!!! And as I meet new people in my life they add more color and pieces to my art work voluntarily or involuntarily. And so God may one day have it I am waiting for that one person who can bring the sunshine so that everyone can see how beautiful I am and how great I have turned out.

So the question remains are u my sunshine? The one who can make me smile and know that I am smiling without even being next to me. The one who makes me cry but not because I'm sad but because they have made me so happy that only tears of joy can express. The person who I go to sleep dreaming about and wake up only to have you still invading my thoughts. Only one person knows who this person is and thats God, so until the day my sunshine arises I will continue to build on to this beautiful art masterpiece I call ME!!!

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What I have grown to learn is that when I finally began to truly and honestly Love God and than I loved myself completely for the first time I realized God is my sunshine and he sends us someone to add to not to complete us. So I am waiting on the complimentary stained glass masterpiece that hangs next to mine together to make one Beautiful Complete Piece!